What’s So Scary about Anger?

I’ve worked with a lot of angry people in my life. And those that cross their path can testify that anger is scary. But in reality, anger is natural. You won’t live your life without a little bit of anger. What is scary about anger is how people deal with it, or the behaviors that it sparks. Here’s the truth about anger: anger is an emotion that is actually trying to protect you. Yes, that one emotion that can get us in so much trouble is actually working for you. Anger is a secondary emotion. It is a mask used to cover up something that is threatening us; for example, fear, humiliation, anxiety, even jealousy. And those emotions are the ones that make us feel vulnerable. And what do we do when we feel vulnerable, we protect ourselves.

So here are a couple of tips to take the scary out of anger. First, identify what is really going on. Are you frightened that someone might hurt your feelings? Do you fear rejection? Are you embarrassed by someone’s behavior, thinking it might reflect on you? Once you know what is actually going on allow yourself a moment of vulnerability. Yes, it may be scary, but have the confidence that you can deal with the situation in a calm and reasonable manner. Communicate your feelings and look for ways to resolve the issue. If you find yourself becoming heated and filled with anger, take a step back. Give yourself time to calm down, and then readdress the issue. Again, identify the true emotion, acknowledge your vulnerability, and address the problem. Keep at it and a whole new world of self-actualization will open up to you!